We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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