you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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