He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
