What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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