We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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