Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
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so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
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but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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