yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Randomize