Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
