Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
