I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize