no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
The adults are the big ones right?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
