She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Shame - the story of my life.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize