Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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