I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
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