he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
