Whoa Z and x make the same sound
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
