worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
He better not be in your backpack
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize