evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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