5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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