If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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