I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Banned from zoo.
Again?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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