The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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