Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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