i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
