i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
