I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
