Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
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