So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
