is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Randomize
