so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
