Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Randomize
