Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Randomize
