just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
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It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
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He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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