It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
