He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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