she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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