You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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