we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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