Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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