I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Randomize
