When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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