I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
