i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
