i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion