Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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