On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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