so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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