HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
