You're my little dorito
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
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