I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
