Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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