Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize