We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
