bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
