It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
