Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
